Wow, it’s the end of April already and I almost forgot about
my monthly post. I’ve had a super busy month, with lots of traveling
and general “stuff” going on. In the middle of April, I hopped on a plane and
flew to Las Vegas to attend the Arbonne GTC (Global Training Conference) with
my small team of 5 people and 16,000 other Independent Consultants. It was an
awesome weekend, I learned so much and got some great ideas. We had new
products launch and heard some great stories. I was totally wiped out by the
time we were due to fly home though…not only because it’s Vegas and we were on
the go for the entire 3 days we were there, but the change in time zones
totally messed up my body’s schedule and diabetes needs. I went low often, got
little sleep due to lows, and when I wasn’t low, I was high. I was only in
Vegas for 3 days, which is apparently juuuuuust long enough for the time change
to completely mess up my body, but not be enough time to get used to the time
change before heading home. The flights weren’t bad, since they were both
night-time/red eyes, but sleeping on a plane is about as conducive as sleeping
on a train with no sleeper car…impossible. I got back from Vegas and promptly DIED
on the couch because I was so exhausted. While I was in Vegas, I saw lots of
new moms, as well as ladies who were quite pregnant and I honestly don’t know
how they did it.
Speaking of pregnant ladies… I am not in that club again
this month. I am kind of not surprised… I have a feeling my ovulation schedule is
totally off from what the three apps I use think it is (anytime between the 4th
and 12th of the month, depending on what app I look at). When I was
sitting in a 3-hour training in Vegas on the 16th, I distinctly felt
that “ovulation pain” and I kind of knew well, that’s that. By the time I got
home to my husband, it was well past the 24-hour “expiration date” of the
supposed egg, and I was way too tired to do ANYTHING, much less try to make a
baby. This past Friday, my husband asked me
when I was due to get my period and I told him anytime within the next 5 days
(again, due to my apps and my usual schedule), and sure enough, that night I
woke up in the middle of the night with the cramps and pain.
My parents are coming this weekend and I think I need to
have a chat with my mom. I’m hoping my husband will follow through with his
plan to take my dad fishing at the pier, so mom and I can have some quality
time to talk about making babies. I have no idea if I have blocked tubes, if I
have any hereditary fertilization issues to deal with or anything. I do know
that my mom had her “tubes blown” sometime before I was born, but I don’t know
why. It’s entirely possible I have blocked tubes OR PCOS. My husband is having
his “swimmer test” today actually, so hopefully that will have a positive
outcome for him, because I know he is worried about his own fertility.
Well, on to the next month I suppose. The fact that I am not
pregnant this month doesn’t sting as much as it did last month. Maybe I’m
getting used to the disappointment or feeling of failure that my body can’t do
this one thing. I mean, I already can’t make my own insulin….which is funny
since it’s a growth hormone. I’ve just got to get back into the mindset that
this is God’s plan for me…whatever it is.
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